Women are often diagnosed years later than men, because the signs are quieter: inner restlessness, perfectionism, people-pleasing, exhaustion by 4pm. Many learn to mask early, and it holds until the load gets too big, often around a new job, a baby or perimenopause.
1/4 The high-functioning collapse
You coped through school, university and your twenties. Then a baby, a new job, perimenopause or one demand too many, and suddenly the basics feel impossible. People call it burnout. Often it is ADHD you have been working around for years without knowing.
2/4 Why your 40s feel different
Oestrogen affects dopamine, one of the brain chemicals linked to ADHD. When oestrogen drops in perimenopause, ADHD symptoms often get worse. If you suddenly can't cope in your 40s, you may have had ADHD all along, and your hormones were helping you manage it.
3/4 The quieter clues
You are often late. Your inbox has thousands of unread emails. You cancel plans at the last minute because going feels impossible. You get absorbed in a hobby for weeks, then never touch it again. You forget the birthdays of people you love.
4/4 Where to start
Sari Solden's book Women with ADHD is a good place to start, and so is the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast from the UK. When you see your GP, say if your symptoms have got worse with hormonal changes. Ask for a specialist who understands how ADHD shows up in women.